Dear fellow Babblers,
I’ve been writing on Delphine’s Babble on Some Good Reads for about seven months now. It has since then undergone some radical transformations from being a neutral place for book reviews, to also a personal diary onto which I expose my innermost raw thoughts to an insider travel manual. Lately, I’ve been doing some serious philosophical reflecting on this and what these changes my blog has seen come to define me as a human being, apart from this virtual cosmos we find ourselves lost within.
Book Blog. Book Blog and Diary. Book Blog and Diary and Traveler Reflections. This is all me. This is not 1 + 2 + 3 different bloggers. In the beginning stages of my blogging journey I believed that the blog is completely separate from the existence of it’s voice, the blogger, almost in the same way Descartes tells us the mind is separate from the body. Sitting here writing this post almost 8 months later, I now see where and how the blogger and the blog become one. It is only by fallen into unbearable lows and sadness, lifted up again and then fallen down yet again have I come to realize that the blog exists to sparkleee. And what exactly about the blog sparkles ? The blogger, course. All of the blogger’s ups downs, laughs and tears are like those clear currents that evoke the sea’s movement.
What has given my blog it’s voice, originality – everything that it is – has been me: Delphine the reader, the emotional disaster, the wanderer.
It took me some exhausting pondering to reach this seemingly common sensical conclusion, but now that I have I want to share what it is about the “me” that makes the blog “sparkleee“.
Sparkleeer #1: Feel What You Type
Book Blog. Public Diary. Travel Journal. Political Column. Makeup & Fashion Advise. What you write should be what you feel. I don’t believe it matters what the subject matter is, the blog is an art, and as such it should evoke thought and emotion from it’s reader. This is only possible if the heart behind the post feels everything they write. Language gives us everything we need to expose ourselves exactly as we are for the entire world to discover. This may be daunting, but I find it liberating: to finally be able to just write my sadness, my joy, my anger and be confident that in the importance and affects that it may have in others’ lives.
If my mind is a completely manic mush of heartache and distrust for all of those around me, it will, I guarantee you, be present in my writing, whether it’s a book review or aesthetic tag. I don’t trust bloggers who say that they keep their personal life separate from their blog. How is it possible to separate your heart from your writing ? When I write on my blog, I don’t care what it is, my entire soul pours into my love and hatred for characters, my memories, and now my experiences as a solo woman traveler. So for bloggers to say that their personal life is “personal” and their blog remains “separate” for me, is an absolute contradiction. Bloggers are everywhere in their blog from their language to the hidden messages they leave between each line. This may seem like an extreme and perhaps accusatory statement that I am daring to make, but what makes a blog sparkle in my eyes is the “feel.” When I write and when I read other posts I want to feel the soul of the writer and I hope when others read my blog they feel everything that I have felt in the moments during which I composed a post.
Sparkleeer #2: Live as You Type
Each and every kind of post that I publish mirrors what is going on in my life and how I am perceiving the world and events going on around me. When my fellow babblers read my reviews they do not just read a sort of synopsis that one can just-the-same find on cliff notes. Instead there is always a portion of my review that connects my personal life such as my struggles with mental illness, with the characters, plot and themes. This is an important aspect of (book) blogging because it while we all loved Everything I Never Told You or, say Lang Leav’s poetry, it has evoked different memories, thoughts and feelings for us depending on our own life experiences.
My life is especially rendered clear on my blog through my Life Update Series as well as my current Wanderings project. Delphine’s Babble on Some Good Reads is no longer just a place to market new releases and interview authors but also to remedy a shattered heart – my shattered heart.
If I wanted to, I could write that I was a 27-year-old Brazilian model living in the suburbs of Paris and currently modeling the latest Valentino and I was doing stand up comedy at nights alongside George Lopez. I could live any life I want through virtual reality; I don’t have to be the 22-year-old Cali girl with mixed origins and a shattered heart from years of knocks and bruises. Why be me when I could just as easily be a pocket full of sunshine ?
Simple. Because I’m shattered. If I don’t write as I feel. If I don’t live as I write I would fall into complete and utter madness. Blogging has become my prozac; my key to hope and promise for words and time to bring me all back together again.
The same holds true for every other blogger out there. If you do not live what you write in your blog space who really are you ? Do you even know ? How could you with all the time, effort and unmistaken exhaustion that must build up from writing according to a self who you are not ? And believe me, readers will know your heart is not in your blog. The sparkleee will be gone, hidden amongst the puns, objectivity and Google images that you went through so much effort to edit and make seem so much like “you.” The only blogs that sparkleee are those that let out their sparkleee. This means the feel and the live that all us bloggers have inside our hearts, not as bloggers, but as humans with emotions and a life that we are trying to get “right”. The blog is a place where all of what we feel and live can be expressed and all that pain that has nearly popped our blood vessels can be relieved and we can finally breathe again, and muster up enough courage to face reality as it exists.
I am well aware that since I started blogging my posts have taken a dreary turn from manic optimist to peculiar outcast and back up to Delphina taco chica. But this is how I feel, and this is how I live; an incessant spiral with no direction, no destination. And I will write it, just as it happens.
What makes your blog sparkleee if it is not you ?I’m curious to hear what other bloggers think. Can a blogger really be a blogger without ‘feeling’ and ‘living’ what and as they write ? Where is the line drawn between you existing as your blog and you existing outside of your blog ? Thoughts ?
I wrote this post on a stream of consciousness during a time that I felt completely and utterly alone. During a time where loved ones and who I thought were loved ones forgot about me or decided I was not enough to give them or have them give me love. During this time of solitude I discovered the only place where I could really pour my heart without it being sharred deeply by yet more thorns and sharp cornes was, indeed, my blog.
During the past couple of months since I have relocated to France I have received a number of emails and have been contacted by several bloggers and even friends and family in regards to some of the personal stories I tell on my blog: “employers look at this,” “find help another way,” “you didn’t have to run away,” “what you did was immature,” “face your problems.” I am here, writing this post in response to negativity, support and silence: my blog is me and I am my blog. I feel my words, and I live my words. Who I am is in my book reviews. Who I am is in my diary. Who I am is in my Wanders.
For all other bloggers out there confused on who they are in this complex cyber space free yourself from the cage that keeps your sparkle from shining through. Fly out of the clutches and write exactly what you feel and who you are.